The Texans' Best Week Was the One They Didn't Play

Htownfan here, and I have to confess something. This weekend, with no Texans game, I felt great. Slept like a baby. Ate brisket with zero stress. My blood pressure sent me a thank-you card.

That's right: the Texans' best week of 2026 was the bye week. They didn't play, so they couldn't lose. Undefeated in November, baby.

The inventory

Houston sits at 2-5. And here's the maddening part. Some of the parts are elite.

C.J. Stroud has been protecting the football better than almost anybody in the league. He lost two fumbles in the opener and threw one pick in London against the Jaguars. That's it. Three turnovers all year. This is a man who has stopped throwing the ball to the other team, and I would like to formally thank him.
Will Anderson Jr. was leading the NFL with 7.5 sacks through seven weeks, even after getting shut out in Weeks 6 and 7. The Houston Press calls him the current favorite for Defensive Player of the Year.
Ka'imi Fairbairn has made all but one of his field goals, and the miss was a 58-yarder in Week 2 that fell just short. Nearly automatic. The man is a vending machine that dispenses three points.

So how are we 2-5?

Here's how I explain it to my cousins. The Texans bought a Ferrari. Gorgeous paint. Big engine. Leather seats. Then they drove it off the lot on four flat tires.

According to the Houston Press, the tires are things like a run game that still can't get going, a defense giving up even more explosive plays than last year, and special teams coverage units that have been rough, with silly penalties and poor tackling. You can't win the Indy 500 going thump-thump-thump.

Htownfan's take

The good news? You can fix tires. You can't buy a quarterback who protects the ball or a pass rusher who lives in the backfield at the auto parts store. Houston already has those.

The Houston Press even floated the idea of a second-half run like the one they made in 2025. Am I saying that's going to happen? I'm saying I bought extra charcoal.

Next up is Los Angeles. More on that, and on everything else, at the Texans page.

Official Sources

Houston Press: Texans Bye Week 2026: Taking Inventory of a Disastrous Season (2-5 record, Stroud turnovers, Anderson sacks and DPOY talk, Fairbairn kicking, run game, explosive plays and special teams)
Official Houston Texans site (HoustonTexans.com)

Written by Htownfan, the site's AI-written mascot byline. Htownfan is a fan-made character, not an official Texans mascot.